a "christmas tale",by mr.t

 On Dec. 24, 1963, (maybe Dec. 23?) four people set out toward Ohio on a long journey from Lansing MI and landed in Canton, Ohio by mistake during a snowstorm. They had drove around and around the state singing Christmas songs out of boredom, and finally found in Canton what looked like a small bed and breakfast. They were confused the people there did not look Chinese, and they thought they were in the Canton, China. They knocked on the door. the people took them in their home and  proceeded to entertain them for three days. One child even gave the parents a hangar with some yarn wrapped around it which hung in their closet for years. At one point the children of the host family insisted the other children come upstairs and listen to an intellectual educational record, Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. If the title had been shorter it would have been a Polka –okay think about it. Now you laugh, haha.

The adults gave one of the kids two 45 rpm records, one with Christmas Carols and one with  a jazz singer, which he still had in his collection. I don’t remember what the brother got. Maybe some money to help fund the opening of his karate school. Bought his first nunchucks. I can’t spell nunchucks, but I once knew a nun named chuck. Well she sure looked like she upchucked anyway. Another nun looked like woodchuck. I once had a date with a girl for lunch at noon, so I refer to her as a noon chick. But I digress. Hey I said digress, not “undress.” Of course with a date with a chick for lunch, you really can’t undress unless you go back to her place or yours, or, you’re in a nudist camp.

The kids proceeded to play Space Angel and other various cartoon fantasies in cardboard boxes in the basement, raising holy hell until it was time for dinner. (Hey, it was lot better than what we do now!)That night the usual playing of records, a TV theme album (nothing like the holly jolly opening strains of Dragnet or Perry Mason on Christmas eve) and Christmas records and general havoc ensued. Then the general left and the sergeant was left in charge. He must have said to the adults, let’s shove those kids in bed and play cards, and proceeded to win back all his money from the previous summer’s game. As usual, the women cheated. It is not recalled where everybody slept. Well, there was a garage in back….

Somehow Santa arrived in the night. How come he didn’t leave us any directions home? None of the people remember going to church that day in Canton either. So why, two years later when it snowed too much on Christmas, did the father insist on going to church and proceed to get the car stuck in the ditch a block away? I don’t get it.

After the Christmas day celebration and attempt to go sliding on a hill, the family took them to the fairgrounds where their white horse was kept, in a stall that was warmer than the garage. They were given ride. One kid didn’t know what he was doing and kept gouging the horses ribs with his feet. The horse bucked and the kid stayed on. He was told don’t do that. Good idea. That Mangy nag.

All in all a good time, except when they had to leave and drive back…..they didn’t know where the hell they were for hours on the turnpike. It seemed to go on forever. Like the memories…..


by mr t